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Raw Review: Little People - Little Point

Posted on 22 Dec 2009 by Jay

This is going to be pretty critical I think, but not overly as there were some positives to come out of the show.

I'm not a big baseball fan so I didn't know much about Johnny Damon. 1) Why hasn't anyone used that name for wrestling yet? It actually sounds cool. 2) Why do they expect baseball players to be actors?

We get the Tiger Woods joke with a giant tiger being chased by a blonde with a golf club ALL NIGHT. It got a "ha" out of me. But I wouldn't necessarily call it laughing the first time around. When they went back to the joke, I shook my head.

Next we get a 6 divas tag match all dressed as skimpy Santas. They live up to the standard of generically booked divas matches sucking, but they set the new standard of Santas. Seriously, was their job tonight to overkill everything? We're up to 6 Santas, and it's ok because this made sense. But it's not over...


Now we go through with the abomination that is Little People's Court. We knew we'd have to put up with this segment. I think WWE kept pushing it off because they didn't know how they were going to write it and were trying to find excuses out of it. I bet Verne Troyer told them it was a stupid idea and he wasn't going to do it...if only they had followed his lead.

The fact that the ring lead to Bill & Ted's version of hell reminds me of the time Hornswoggle ran through a hole in the wall ala Looney Tunes. I'm sorry, but there's a line to draw on kid shows I think so you don't lose fans and alienate them from your product. This was trying to scribble out that line.

Orton/Legacy Vs. Mark Henry/Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne

So following a 6 man tag match, we get another 6 man tag match? This is another randomly booked match. Kofi has a problem with Orton...why were Mark Henry and Evan Bourne randomly added? I thought Bourne had problems with Swagger and Chavo? And why not MVP at least teaming with Henry? Oh, they did that 6 man tag already. Gets Kofi another win at least with a pin on Ted Dibiase. This feud has lost all steam, it should be over now.

Backstage segment and here's where the Santas begin getting out of hand. We get the announcement that Santa is going to grant someone a wish tonight. It's a kid show, I can live with that. But we get this backstage segment with Masters, Carlito, and a Santa who turns out to be Sgt. Slaughter. That's 7 Santas so far if you're counting. Carlito Vs. Masters is booked for tonight...at least they're not forgotten.

And now we get segment number 2 from the Little People's Court and it's just as bad as the first. Shawn getting pulled back under the ring got another "ha" but if this was supposed to be a Moment to Remember they should file it under the Katie Vick category. Not entertaining in the least bit and a huge flop.

Then we got John Cena Vs. Jack Swagger in an excellent match! This put Swagger back on the map after creative had forgotten about him. Problem is...why did Swagger deserve such a high profile match? These two didn't have any problems with each other, didn't address Sheamus being champion and Cena trying to get the title back. It was just another randomly booked match. But again...at least this was very good. Hopefully Swagger starts getting used more.

Here we go...Santa #8 so far in the night and this time it's Dusty Rhodes. All a useless cameo to set up MVP vs. Sheamus tonight. Interesting...

Carlito Vs. Masters was okay, good to see Masters getting a push. As a babyface? That's definitely different. Not sure where they can really go with it unless it somehow builds him up to getting a US Title Feud with Miz over Eve Torres or something. Speaking of Miz...where is he?

Oh...there he is. In a backstage segment. He's the US Champion and was booked excellent through most of 2009, did creative place him on the bottom of the priority list? Even under the Bella twins? So we get a segment where the Miz thinks Santa is real, although his Christmas list was actually funny, it turned out to be Santa #9 with IRS. IRS was not funny at all in this and the Tiger Woods throw-in again was dumb and pointless. Oh, and then if that wasn't bad enough they threw Mae Young randomly in to the end of this segment. I'm just waiting for Big Dick Johnson to burst out at this point.

MVP vs. Sheamus was okay, Sheamus should've looked stronger in this match considering he was a monster 5 weeks ago before this whole title push thing started. It's like they're slowly cutting off his balls in a slow and torturous way. He beats MVP and once again backs down from Cena. This should've ended in a fist fight all over the arena like the last 3 times Sheamus has backed down from Cena. It's made him look like a wimp over and over again and it's giving Sheamus no credibility.

Miz Vs. Santino Marella except...we had Santino Clause instead. That's number 10 for all of you counting. Miz gets an easy win and then stomps all over Santino's sack...of toys. The end.

If it wasn't bad enough to sit through Little People's Court, we had to get the entire thing replayed back to us. Just in case you forgot how bad this Raw was.

This is followed by a backstage Segment where Show says he better get the real Santa out there otherwise he's going to knock him out. I think they should've pretended it was the "real" Santa and knocked him out and have the commentators announce Christmas is canceled. Can you imagine the head that Big Show would get from that? I think it's be hilarious.

Instead...we get Chris Jericho as Santa Clause number 11. 11? 11! That's ridiculous! Talk about over killing a gimmick! Can you imagine if we had 11 people dressed up as Santa at the PCW show? You guys would've rolled your eyes and vomited. All they really needed was the Divas Match and Jericho at the end. The rest was pointless. There are so many other Christmas things they could've done instead of have everyone on the roster dress as Santa. What about a gift exchange? A reindeer? Frosty the snowman? ANYTHING!

Although, the idea of Jericho trying to sneak his way onto Raw every week has it's appeal and could be funny if done right. This was ok, but the followup to the reveal was very disturbing in the fashion that they'd actually book this.

The midgets stormed the ring and attacked Jericho and Big Show until Hornswoggle was about to get murdered. Out comes DX for the save! The save? Yes, the save. After MONTHS of battles over copyright infringement, embarrassing them, and even being taken to court...why would they save Hornswoggle? And they let him be the official "Mascot" of DX?

How degrading is that to little people that watch Raw? All the short jokes, saying they'll keep him in a cage, calling him a mascot because he can't be a member. I bet they're all pretty insulted.

Just like I was while watching this entire program. Oh, don't forget that Timbaland is hosting next week. While I see it being funnier than this past Monday's, I still think it's gonna suck on so many levels. So many levels in fact...you're going to need an elevator to visit all those levels. Huh? Anyone? That reference was funnier than anything on Raw. See ya next week!
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